When you become a mother, no matter how much you desire and prepare for motherhood, pretty much everything changes over night. In my own experience of becoming a mom I rapidly transitioned from trailblazing occupational therapist, to not so trailblazing occupational therapist/mom to leaving the traditional healthcare setting altogether and on my way out the door I was told…
“Everything changed after you had kids, you were on track for so many great things but then it was like the wind got taken out of you”
When I first heard these words, I initially felt upset with myself. I agreed with this person, I had been on track to do a lot of big things in the world of occupational therapy and even healthcare in Hawaii and then EVERYTHING shifted when I became a mom. But as I sat there, I also knew in my heart I could never be exactly who I was before becoming a mom. That Hilary was gone.
A few days later, I started getting really angry. That exact feedback is the perfect example of how the United State systemically pushes women aside just when they need the MOST support. I, like so many women, had to make daily choices about showing up for my family or my work. I leaned toward showing up for my family, over and over. Had I leaned toward showing up for my work over and over, I seriously doubt I would have left my job or received this feedback. We need the support systems in place so women are encouraged and supported in making whatever decision is best for them and their family. There is no wrong decision, but some are definitely looked down upon more than others. That was what pissed me off so much and ultimately led me to start my own business.
Everything becomes harder after becoming a mom and our society normalizes the struggle. The mother who is perceived to be doing it all is deemed a “super mom”, while the mom who chooses her family more, is cast to the side… aka “the wind is let out of her sails”. She no longer gets the seat at the table she once had, she no longer receives the emails she once did, she no longer gets to go to the trainings she once did, she no longer gets the clients she once had. She’s a mom now, maybe one day she will be like she was before, but for now she’s not sailing in the same direction so why support her.
Those were the signals I got from my work, how about you?
I doubt your story is exactly mine, but when you became a mom did you feel set aside by our culture and society in some way? I’d love to hear if you relate to this…
The anger I felt by this one statement, cemented so much of what I was feeling after returning to work after having my babies. Now over 4 years into my non-traditional healthcare practice, I have found my footing, I have found my voice, I have found my passions and they don’t need to align with anyone but myself. I do the work I do providing holistic women’s health coaching while homeschooling and soon to be traveling the country in an RV. None of this would be possible had I held the course I charted before I had kids. The wind has returned to my sails and it’s charting a course where I can have my cake and eat it too!
If you’re struggling to keep the wind in your sail as a mother and want to get it back I have just the thing that could begin charting that fresh course for you…
It’s called Rise to Thrive Power Sessions.
This is a private coaching session focused on resetting your strategies for supporting yourself through the chaos of modern motherhood. We focus on finding a repeatable strategy that supports you in showing up feeling your best so you can give your best.
For more information CLICK HERE
Rise to Thrive Power Sessions are $50 off through the end of the year!
In Health,
Hilary
PS…
Looking for more long term support to step back into your power as a mother, woman, partner? Consider applying for my 3-month mentorship “Soul-Aligned Motherhood”. CLICK HERE to apply! There is no commitment upon sending in your application, so you got nothing to lose!
