This past Saturday, I spent 4 hours wandering along a mile and a half loop trail near the Tennessee River with my girls. It was in the 40s, sunny and just gorgeous out.
Now you might be wondering why it took 4 hours to walk 1.5 miles… I was a bit baffled myself, about 2 hours in. You see we were with a group called Forest Families and participating in what they call “child led nature walks”. During their events, they always let the children lead; setting the pace, deciding when to stop and explore, deciding when to continue. They also let the children decide where to go, making the same hike look completely different every time.
Today was just a spectacular day for a hike. The kids set a pretty good pace for a good 20minutes then we got to the river. A beautiful clearing with sweeping views of the Tennessee River. My girls explored, tossed a bunch of rocks then were ready to move on. But it quickly became evident that all the other kids were content spending well over an hour by the river. They were just climbing around on river rocks, tossing pebbles in the water, exploring the brush, having a snack and soaking up nature.
Forest Families walks are a beautiful concept and I fully embrace it, but my girls were struggling. I can say with absolute certainty that even on the most breathtaking hikes in Hawaii, we never paused to take in the view or explore for more than what I once thought was a generous 10-15minutes. So today, when all these other kids were just relaxing, playing, exploring, my girls were antsy and asking to keep going… over and over and over. We even went off 2 times to do a little exploring in a nearby area and then spent 20 minutes on the trail doing relay races.
By this point, I was pretty much ready to just keep walking and head for the car. My quota for “can we keep going” was about worn out. Finally the crew set out again and my girls sprinted ahead in excitement. Then my daughter tripped over some roots and took a header into the dirt path. Tears and shouts of “I want to go home” echoed through the woods. I kind of agreed for a few moments, but then the voice of the leader for the day crept into my mind.
You see while standing by the river bank we got to talking about the value of free play and she brought up a stat I had forgotten. She said “you know it takes 45 minutes for children to drop completely into free play”. Whether true or not is beside the point because I know my girls rarely have 45 minutes of free play, so all of this open ended nature based exploration and play, is new to them. Newness, as we all know, is uncomfortable. So as my 6 year old is screaming she wants to go home, I decided I needed to let go of my discomfort with the pace for the sake of my girls. Just let the kids be kids, I said to myself. I relaxed into the pace and sure enough…
We found ourselves down by another area of the river and both my girls were digging away, bartering river rocks for shells with other kids and playing!! The need to move on had suddenly and completely vanished. We moseyed on through the rest of the trail at the kids pace. My girls, not once asking to leave or move on… in fact they began to whine and beg to stay when the other kids decided it was time to continue.
By the end of the walk my girls were smiling ear to ear, cheeks flush from running around, hands dirty from exploring and belly hungry for a good meal. I asked them what they thought of the hike and they said “it was so much fun”!
Had I let my own discomfort with the slowness of a “child-led nature walk” get in the way of my girls experiencing what it is like to truly take in, explore and play in nature, I would have robbed them of this most special of learning experiences. We overcame the discomfort of the newness of a slower pace together and I am so grateful for today!
In Health,
Hilary
PS: My biggest lesson for today…
Our children reflect our own energy… It is our job as owners of mature nervous systems to modulate our energy for the benefit of our children. Had I remained antsy and desiring to keep going down the trail at a “normal pace”, I’m not convinced my girls would have settled in the way they did.
